Just Because We Can, Doesn't Mean We Should

Before you start reading, I want you to stop right now in this moment.

Take a breath in and out. Close your eyes if you need. Let yourself sit for a moment and pause life.

Okay, now let's go. We are going to touch on something that I've been battling this past month : SELF CARE AND REST.

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First - I want to really make something clear. Self-care and resting is by far one of the most important things I believe we can do, especially as women. It also seems to be the number one thing we procrastinate doing during our week.

Second- Self-care and resting does not make you lazy!

I am all about girl power and changing the way society sees women. But- within the awesome female empowerment movement, somewhere we created a notion that's impossible for us to measure up to.

Yes, you can run a blog. You can have a great career. You can be a CEO. You can be a mom. You can be the PTA president. You can start a podcast. You can run an online boutique. You can be the founder of a nonprofit. You can plan social parties for all your friends and you can be the lady in charge of the book club.

But just because you CAN, doesn't mean you HAVE to and SHOULD.

I know, I try to hit this measure of success everyday.

Did I check off all the tasks and solve all the problems for the day? If yes, well then I can take a moment for self care.

If I did not, well  then heck no I'm not taking a moment for me? That would make me an unproductive woman and in today's culture woman are supposed to be saving the world now, so I can't take any down time or else I have failed.

Does anyone else think like that above? I hope I'm not the only one who feels this way.

After a great realization and my husband telling me to slow down, I forced myself to rest.

And can I tell you something? It did wonders for me, my heart, my mindset, and my relationships. When I am able to slow down and take care of myself - I am a better Caroline. I begin to spend time with the Lord and become who he created me to be.

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Below are the 3 ways I slow down and rest:

        1. Above all else, spend time taking care of yourself spiritually.

I am the biggest culprit of not doing this.

I am the happiest when pouring the love of Christ into others, but we have to think of our souls like a cup. If we are always pouring out...at some point it's going to run empty.

We have to take care of our hearts and equip our soul with the promises and truths of Gods word first.  If we don't find rest in the Lord first, our human nature will begin to run ourselves tireless trying to find rest in a thousand other things with no fulfillment.

        2. Take care of yourself mentally.

For me, this looked like slowing down for a little with the blog and Instagram. Too quickly social media can take over our every thoughts.

"Have I posted recently? Am I posting enough for the blog to gain traffic? Am I posting content people actually care about? Look at how many followers that person has. I need to do that, I should do this."

The thoughts are endless. So I took a solid 30 day break from writing, posting, and obsessing over what my next move is going to be.

        3. Take care of yourself physically.

To be honest, sometimes this part gets a little expensive. From gym memberships to regular pedicures, it starts to add up - but find out what you love most and make it a priority. 

I never had my nails done because I didn't want to take time or money painting them, so I took myself to TJ Maxx and bought three pretty OPI colors. Finding colors I LOVE and actually want to try out made me get excited to take care of myself every week.

Though it's little, it's so worth it.

I hope you can slow down and find some time to breathe. If you have any other ideas or way you rest comment them below!

Surgery Hindsight

Hindsight:

1. understanding of a situation or event only after it has happened or developed.

Hindsight is a really incredible thing. In my life, hindsight has always strengthened my faith. Some times, hindsight is not always "20/20" for me. While on other occasions it is as clear as could be.

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As most know, just recently I had an emergency appendectomy. I wrote a little post about it here , and the support and love I received was so encouraging. But, I really want to share the full story with you all.

The surgery itself is not what I want to tell you more about, it is the hindsight that needs to be shared.

We found out on a Friday that Clark would be receiving a couple random days off the following week. For those of you that know the lifestyle of minor league baseball, you understand how rare this is. Clark is always at the field. Right now, it's from 5 AM - 3:00 PM. So when we heard he would get some days off, we started planning all we could go do.

We started planning a small trip to San Diego for a few days.

Then, Clark had an small idea that he may be moving to Ohio soon... so we thought maybe we could drive to Ohio together those off days and fly Clark back. (Otherwise, I would be driving by myself since Clark has to fly with the team)

As the weekend came and the first off day begun, we had settled that we were going to drive to a lake about an hour away and camp out for a night.

I don't really know what kept us from tackling Ohio or San Diego, but for some reason we both just had a feeling that maybe we should stay somewhere closer to relax instead of exploring.

The morning of his first off day, I wasn't feeling too hot. I didn't think much of it because:

1. I am rarely sick. Truly, never.

2. We paid off our credit card debt that day, lol, so you can imagine I may have been just feeling a little nauseous due to the sum exiting our bank account. (I know someone else out there feels the same with this one)

The next day, we were supposed to wake up and head to the lake. Well, I woke up and was not about to head anywhere. I had some rough tummy pain and laid on the couch all day long. We were both upset we missed out on our anticipated lake day.

Then, I woke up the following morning feeling so much better. After about two hours of finishing some work, the pain hit me. I rushed to wake Clark and we headed to the hospital.

Within 6 hours of being at the hospital they had decided I had appendicitis and would be going into surgery ASAP. Yay, for me! I have never had surgery, even been inside a hospital for any cause, and to top it all off...I have never even given blood. Nothing more than a finger prick for me.

You would think that I would have lost it and been so anxious, but it was the opposite.

The Lord gave me such a peace, it scared Clark a little bit. I was just at ease. I kept hearing him say, "I have you. Look at all I've planned out for you this week. You're fine."

And so I did just that, I opened my eyes to focus on all the events God planned out that week for me to be taken care of. From the smallest details of us decided to relax at home instead of go somewhere to the larger ones like Clark being off so he could take me to the hospital and help me recover.

He had already walked the path before I even came close to the entrance of it.

Sometimes, we have to get through the storm, past the chaos, before we can begin to notice just how the Lord was fully present with us and worked things out for our good.

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

- Deuteronomy  31 : 8
 

Whatever storm you're going through, take a moment, open your eyes to the goodness of the Lord. Even amidst your stormy weather.

5 Ways to Help You Find Your Love

I've been experiencing a bit of an identity crisis recently.

It isn't necessarily a "who am I" moment though, thankfully I have that part under control so far. (Shout out to Jesus for that)

It's more about what the heck I want in life. What do I want to do? What do I even like? Who do I want to be involved with?

I grew up liking a lot of different things.

I played soccer my whole life, and I really liked it.

I danced and played violin for a little while...which I also liked.

I like to paint and create new things.

I, actually, really like shopping.

I'm an expert in sweets, so I like to bake too.

Talking and telling other peoples stories is something I have always liked to do.

Eating healthy and working out? Yup, for the most part, I like it.

But, when it comes to a things I love to do...that's a tough one.

Anyone else relate to this?

Don't get me wrong, I "love" a lot of things...really love them!

But do I love them enough to want to wake up everyday and do them? Do I love something enough to call it a passion? That's the questionable part.

Plus, I'm often surrounded by people who have their thing found out.

The one, sometimes multiple for those A++ people, thing they are excellent at. Better than good or great,  they are overall exceptionally talented at it and enjoy it tremendously.

Like my husband and baseball, Clark lives and breathes it. He can't wait until the next game,  next at bat, and the next practice. It's his thing. It's his love.

Do you know anyone in your life who has found their love?

That person who can really call their love a passion, not just something they like. That person who knows, in one way or another, their love will always be present in their life.

And P.S. : If that's you- I'm jealous. Not even going to hide it. I hope you take your love and run wild with it. If you've been asking for a sign regarding if you should pursue your love...here it is. This is your sign. Go!

For anyone who is reading this, thinking "That's me! Always liking something, but just haven't found my love", let me encourage you with this:  5 Ways to Help You Find Your Love

(I will also be reading, and re-reading, this to hype myself up here lol)

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1. We are all created so uniquely; don't even let the comparison game begin.

I don't think we will ever be able to fully comprehend the individual quality and traits God hand picked for us to have and use. We all enjoy different things and react to those in our own way. Instead of focusing only on what your love is, dive into the unique qualities you have. Put your blinders on and enjoy who YOU are. Forcing yourself to love something just because someone else does will never give you satisfaction. Plus- we all have gone through different experiences! Embrace your experiences and traits.

2. Test the waters.

I think this is probably the best advice I have received yet on this topic. Try out different things. If you think you may love baking...go bake. If maybe you might love graphic design...start designing. Maybe you love business communications...girl go get you a job in business communications. If we never test the water, we wont ever find a pool we love.

3. Don't just dip a toe, jump in...all the way.

Yup, back to a water analogy. But, this is the best way to encourage you without telling you to not "half a**" it. We will never find a love by barely scraping the surface.

So, you want to be a fitness coach? Go buy books about the skills, theories, and training techniques with fitness. Then read. Soak up all of the knowledge you can possibly consume. Begin perfecting your craft. Find some guinea pigs to use as your first clients and give them all you have. (Isn't that what family and bffs are for anyways?) We have to put in the work and effort.

Go jump into it fully. You are more likely to find your love once you finally dunk your head and get your hair wet. 

4. Don't feel bad if you run through a hundred things.

I think this is important. Somewhere, we were told a lie that you have to find something and stick to it forever. Which is partly true, I'm a firm believer of finishing what you started.

BUT this doesn't mean settling for something because you're embarrassed or too scared to move on and try new things. If you ask most happily, successful people who are further in their passions, they will tell you they have tried many different things until they found their love.

A painter may go through fifty different techniques until they find one they love. This may mean experiencing jobs in different career industries until you get to your love. But, don't let embarrassment keep you from searching. Like I said earlier, we are all running down our own paths and with our own purposes here on Earth. So you do you!

5. Pray. Pray. Pray. & Repeat.

So many people laugh because I can't help but bring Jesus into the conversation...no matter what I'm talking about. The truth is though, praying is quite honestly one of the most underrated aspects of life. I challenge you to pray for five minutes every day for one week.

It doesn't matter if you just sit and chat with God about the sky in the morning or vent about your rough day to him in the evening, set yourself a timer and talk with him for at least five minutes. Whether you haven't said a word to him since you were a kid or talk to him daily, he will meet you there. He will show up every single time.

So, go talk to him about what your love could be. I've been practicing this for about two weeks straight so far, and the peace and encouragement he has revealed to me is incredible.

I hope this gave you some guidance and encouragement! If you already have a love, may you follow it to your fullest and never take it for granted. If you are searching like me, may we continue to enjoy life while on the journey.

Final words- You are never too old and you are never too young to find your passion and follow it fully.

I love to hear your stories of how you found what you love and how you are still finding what you love! Comment them below and encourage everyone reading this.

The Waiting Game

The past two months have been some of the most trying times in my personal life yet. They have also been some of the most exciting and memorable, don't get me wrong. But usually, at least in my life, the moments full of change and excitement are often the most difficult seasons.

I have officially labeled this season of my life "The Waiting Game".

You see, as glorious and fun as I sometimes make graduating a semester early, immediately getting married, and "adventuring" around the country with my baseball loving husband... this choice is only becoming more and more daunting as the days pass.

The Waiting Game hits us all I believe, in one season of life or another.

Maybe it's refreshing your email inbox by the minute, hoping the "accepted" email will come through, as all of your friends have celebrated where they will be going next.

Maybe it's spending nights alone while praying the Lord will bring you a husband or a wife, even though you're the last of your friends to reach marriage.

Maybe it's the realization that you can't have children while all of your friends are showing up pregnant everywhere you turn.

Maybe it's crying yourself to sleep that first month after losing someone you love, while everyone else is ending their nights with joy and smiles.

Maybe it's hoping you could just finally change who you are and stop making the same mistakes over and over again.

Maybe it's waiting for that promotion after you worked so hard for years, and everyone but you seems to be moving up.

We all have different waiting games. But at the end of the day, they are all a painful wait.

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Recently for me, my waiting game has been waiting for a job after applying to over 25 places in the past two weeks alone.

As the weeks have turned into months in this season's waiting game, I have found joy slowly leaving. My motivation is diminishing, and celebrating the little things in life is happening as often.

The thing about waiting that trips me up the most, is my inability to do anything other than look at my surroundings.

Watching the peers I sat in classes with celebrating their dream jobs in the hippest city. Scrolling my social media feeds that are glistening with each user's greatest accomplishments. I just can't help but continually looking at everyone around me, wondering why the heck I am still in this stupid waiting game.

Anyone else out there feel me on this? Have any of you ever thought the same thing? Like, why the heck am I still in this season?!

But I've been realizing the reason why this wait is so daunting to me. I am keeping my eyes focused on the world's season instead of my creator's season.

As much as I want to turn my waiting heart and feast on what the world is feeding me, I have to change my view to what God says about my waiting game.

One of my favorite songs is Seasons by Hilsong United.

"I can see the promise; I can see the future
You’re the God of seasons ; I’m just in the winter
If all I know of harvest ; Is that it’s worth my patience
Then if You’re not done working ; God I’m not done waiting"

The waiting game is going to happen. But the Lord is right there with us in our seasons.

Fix your eyes on him. Don't focus on "who" is doing "what" around you. Focus your heart and mind to what the Lord is sharing with you. Start your morning focused on His promises and His word, then revisit with him every time you start to turn your eyes away from Him.

Focus on what he is teaching you during your waiting game.

"Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God's right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God."

-Colossians 3:1-3
 

Staying When We Want To Leave

The other day I attended a luncheon for baseball wives. I had been looking forward to this, but was terrified of going alone. I have an extremely outgoing personality, but when it involves walking into a room full of older, experienced baseball wives- that outgoing spirit leaves immediately.

I hesitated all morning about going. I kept telling Clark, “I’m going to be the only one there going alone. I’m going to be the youngest. Everyone is going to have friends and I’m going to be wandering looking like an absolute loser.”

He kept promising me that I was wrong and there would be so many people going alone.

So, through the encouragement of friends, I headed inside with my stomach in knots. And honestly it was more like forcing hands that threatened me over Facetime me until I got out of the car and went inside.

I walked through the doors and wanted to turn right back around. Clark was wrong. I was right. There were groups of women everywhere. All with their own squads. I didn’t see a single loner, except me.

What made it even more daunting was it seemed like everyone I heard talking was in the Major Leagues already, or at least close to it. Clark JUST finished his rookie season last year (the reactions of whether your husband is minor league vs major league is a weird thing. I’ll have to address it later on).

I casually walked around the tables (pretending like I was definitely looking for someone because isn’t that what we do when alone in a crowd). Trying my best to not make it noticeable I was terribly alone, I headed to the drink station. I took my sweet, sweet time getting a cup of water while chatting small talk with the women manning the station.

For all the lunches I've eaten alone in restaurants during this month, and the games I attended with not another person in the stands, I had never felt this way. I was finally surrounded by 80+ women who shared this baseball journey, yet I felt so alone.

The devil loves to bring us down. Telling us we need to get back in our comfort zone, making us feel self-conscious and judged, convincing us we are the odd man out and everyone can tell. Every part of me wanted to leave.

Anyone else ever been here before? That place way out of your comfort zone.

I’m pretty sure we have all had this moment in one aspect or another. Whether it’s a new job, new team, or the dreaded school lunchroom. We tell ourselves that we’re not going to fit in and should leave. We make ourselves believe that every single person around us notices our singleness.

God tells us the exact opposite. He calls us to be bold. To step out of our comfort zone. To seek community in his people. To trust him.

I sat and looked at the women chatting it up with each other. In that moment, I felt the spirit tell me, “I have brought you here. Stay.”

I've been praying for community here. But the Lord isn’t going to drop friends in my lap from the sky. We have to step out and follow the Lord where he is leading us. We have to act.

So, I stayed. I forced conversation on the sweetest woman. Who connected me with another. And then, by the end of the luncheon I felt at home. I soon realized most of the "judging stares" I thought I was receiving were actually smiling welcomes. When we are nervous to step out of our comfort zone, we make ourselves see things different than reality.

Stepping out of our comfort zone is ALWAYS rewarding. Sometimes it takes a while. Sometimes we don’t see the reward until later in life. But, listen to the Lord. Grow your comfort zone to new boundaries. If we are continually stepping out on faith, the things that once sat outside our comfort zone will become second nature.

One of my favorite verses is Isiah 42:16 -

“And I will lead the blind in a way that they do not know, in paths that they have not known. I will guide them. I will turn the darkness before them into light, the rough places into level ground. These are the things I do, and I do not forsake them.”

Though it may seem like small or trivial example of how the Lord has pushed me to trust him more out here, it filters into other parts of my life: Clark’s baseball season, my search for a job, the low valleys and the mountain highs in our marriage. I'm learning to trust the truth of the Lord, and to deny the lies of the devil a place in my heart.

Don’t be afraid to go where it feels uncomfortable.

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Huge thanks to Pro Athletes Outreach , Baseball Chapel, and UPI for making this event happen. Plus, Scottsdale Bible Church for hosting us. I encourage any other baseball families to get connected with these organizations, they rock!